The myth behind work-life balance

A great deal of people today are talking, and complaining about what they call “Work-Life” balance, and comparing the hectic life today to how it used to be in the past, slower with more quality relationships .. But is the term “Work-Life” balance real? Does it actually exist? Is there something called “Work-Life” balance in reality? or is it just a hoax? .. Here’s is a review of the past… the present … and an anticipation of how the future could be ..

Work-Life in The Past

Unlike what most people think, work in the past was hundred times more demanding than today, and not less demanding! And it doesn’t take a genius to discover that!!

For example, the time to commute from one place to the other was massive, using much slower means of transport than the ones we have today. Transactions even were slower and there were no control measures on working hours or enough security measures to lock markets and shops when trading was over, so many business people or traders used to actually sleep next to their goods, or spend long times packing them after trading was over then moving them all back to where they lived. This is all without mentioning that the majority of traders used to travel for months from one place to the other leaving their families behind and not seeing them for a very long time.

So the myth of “Our ancestors used to work less” is absolutely fake, as they used to work more hours, do more travel and they did not have half of the time that we have today. We are much richer than them in the amount of time ..

So what is the issue?…….. To answer this question, we need to analyse the “present”

Our present

“Today we are richer than our parents in time” .. Do you agree with this? … Challenging statement? .. Let’s see …

Today we have flexible working hours that our ancestors didn’t have .. we have super fast communication tools that enable us to save huge time in correspondence, like emails, social media ..etc (remember when our parents used to send letters in mail, waiting for ages to get a reply?), today most businesses have e-portals and we don’t need to spend any time in banks or waiting in queues, we can write and edit on computers while our ancestors had to hand-write, then re-write if something goes wrong, we can scan and photocopy while they had to spend hours in carbon-copying using handwriting page by page .. and we can go on for ever mentioning how things today are much faster than yesterday .. The fact that the majority of people ignore today is that ..

“WE HAVE MUCH MORE TIME THAN OUR ANCESTORS HAD” ..

Believe this from the bottom of your heart, and you will be able to move forward! The more we deny this fact, the more we will fall to the hoax of “Work-Life” balance thing .. It just doesn’t exist ..!

So what is the real problem then? Is there a core reason? or a complex mix of reasons? Why are people complaining then of not having this “Balance”? .. The story comes down to two main core reasons of this feeling .. here they are and here are some ideas on how to overcome them ..

1. Prioritization

The number one reason of why people fall into the hoax of work-life balance is their inability to prioritize! The simple failure of saying “No” !

Happiness in life depends to a great extent on choosing the right routes, and this choice will always be pro-active or reactive .. Proactive choices are made in the conscious mode when people are aware of their choice, take it when they don’t have to, based on their own priorities, not someone else’s. Reactive choices are just the opposite ..

The biggest challenge then is that the majority of people today make reactive choices .. the choice is based on what is offered to them, not what they really want.

So how can someone make pro-active choices? … First, it is all about establishing direction, choosing the destination, then knowing what one really wants in life .. then keep focusing on that and following the routes that lead you to the desired destination .. .. So it all falls into that one choice you need to make at the very beginning … “What do you want to achieve in life?” .. What is that one thing that drives you?

Prioritization and saying “No” to time wasters all depend on the individual’s selection power and the clarity of options in front of the individual .. We have much more time, but we are not making the right proactive selection .. we are handing over the selection power to others around us .. That’s the simple number one core reason of loss of happiness in life …

2. Participation

“We are working hard for our families / beloved ones” but we don’t involve them in what we do or what decisions we should make .. .. That simple disconnection is what makes people exactly disconnect work from life, and then keep repeating the term “Work-Life” balance thing ..

Remember when our ancestors used to partner and share everything? Wives bringing food to husbands in factories or in farms? Wives working with husbands in the same farm? Kids helping their parents sell / trade? .. weren’t those all happy moments and happy families?

This disconnection that has occurred between families and work was the second core reason of why people feel unhappy and stressed .. Work stress always happened to our ancestors and will always happen, but they used to share and partner in finding solutions, and this created a big understanding between partners, that led to sharing the load and reducing stress .. There was a “Sharing” and “Listening” culture, that we are missing today .. People work long hours, then carry stress to home and are unable to listen to home stress stories .. no one is listening enough, and we are getting quickly isolated, and this increases individual stress levels ..

The recipe ..

While the above seams simple to write and read, it is difficult to apply .. It all starts by establishing direction in life, and each one thinking of what is it that they really want .. Make this one choice, and everything will fall in place ..

The fact is that we are running without direction, bumping into walls right and left as long as we just keep moving.. And this is not helping us live a happy life, because despite the great movements happening, we are not moving forward towards a destination, but our journeys are being hijacked by others ..

Make a choice, involve the ones you love, keep close to them and share .. Dump this “Work-Life” balance thing to the trash .. It’s all about life .. living happily and getting through what you will face, together with your loved ones .. We have a lot of time, and next generations will have even more .. the game is always about making a CHOICE!

Written by:

Engagement Expert, International Speaker & Pragmatic researcher